MWT 2007: Misting 5: Oh Sean
by Billie Marie
Summary: This is the 5th fan fic in the Mystery Wrestling Theater series. In this, Sean Waltman receives a letter from an obsessed fan.
1. Introduction

**Title: **

**Mystery Wrestling Theater 2007: **

**Misting #5: Oh, Sean**

**Rated: Suitable for mature teens and older **

**Summary: 5th fan fic in the Mystery Wrestling Theater 2007 series. In this episode, Sean Waltman receives a love letter from a very obsessed fan. **

**Hopefully, you've read the last four fan fics in this series. If you have, I hope you've enjoyed them. If you haven't, I suggest you do. If you don't remember them, here's a recap…**

**Recap: In the last fic in the series, we saw just how hard Bret had it. He had to deal with Sean finally snapping and destroying Vince's serpentine camera, which by the end of the fic, was repaired. Bret also had to deal with two tricks played on him by DX. Then, our heroes had to read a fan letter addressed to Bret.**

**Characters: Sean Waltman, Bret Hart, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Shane McMahon, Vince McMahon **

**Yeah, the next part is the same as usual.**

**Sources: I do not own any of the wrestlers or Vince or his children. I don't own the characters or the concept from Mystery Science Theater. The only original character in the series is Marie, Vince's hired writer and finder of awful spams and fan fics.**

**I also am not the person who came up with the concept of mixing wrestling and Mystery Science Theater. My inspiration is Amanda Stevens who came up with the wonderful cast of misters that I am currently using. **

**Format: All parts will be in script form. Actions will be in (). The name of the character talking will be bold. Things that are part of the post will be written in italics.**

**Enjoy!**


	2. Ch 1: Sean's paranoia

Time: One day after our heroes read The Bret Hart Fan Letter or the 6th day of our heroes' captivity (whichever you, the reader, prefer)

Time of day: Morning, or at least what passes for morning for our heroes

Place: On the Satellite of Degenerates (SOD), in the corridor where our heroes' sleeping quarters are located Sean Waltman opened his bedroom door. He looked left, then right...

There was nothing, just an almost empty corridor. In fact, the only thing in the corridor was an old fashioned meal tray situated just outside his door. He decided the tray could stay there.

He stepped out cautiously into the corridor, scanning what was in front of him. His eyes moved back and forth. In his hands, he tightly clutched the broom that had been in the back of his closet. It was the only weapon he could find in his room. The axe he'd had, along with his other sharp and clubbing tools, had been mysteriously removed from the satellite.

Sean knew he was acting paranoid, but he couldn't help it…

A door suddenly shut behind him. Sean heard the movement of something exiting the door and approaching him from behind. The figure was slow and almost sliding along the corridor's carpet. Sean continued to walk the corridor, but stopped when he rounded the corner. When it was close enough for Sean to reach the figure with the broom, Sean turned. He whacked the figure as hard as he could with the broom.

"Oww!" yelled the surprised form.

Sean raised the broom up and saw that he'd just hit Bret Hart.

**Sean:** Bret!

**Bret:** (coughs, spitting) Who did you expect? (coughs and spits some more) Damn it, Sean! I got that dirty broom right in the mouth. I think I got dust up my nose.

**Sean:** I'm sorry. I just thought…(pause)

**Bret:** What? What were you thinking?

**Sean:** That you were the…I thought you were Vince's serpentine camera.

**Bret:** And you were going to destroy it with a broom?

**Sean:** Well, the axe is missing. (grins uneasily) Considering what just happened, you're lucky I wasn't holding a sharp instrument.

From behind Bret, came footsteps and two more voices.

**Hunter:** I wish I had a sharp instrument.

**Shawn:** Now Hunter…

**Sean:** Good morning.

**Hunter:** It will be good when some people remember to keep their voices down in the corridor in the morning.

**Sean:** We woke you?

**Shawn:** I was already awake.

**Hunter:** I wasn't until I heard something hit and then a very loud oww. Then, loud talking…

**Bret:** The Kid attacked me with a broom.

**Shawn:** Oh, well, carry on Kid.

**Sean:** (in his own defense) I didn't attack Bret. I really thought he was Vince's serpentine camera.

**Bret:** (to Sean) Do I look like that thing?

**Shawn:** Now that you mention it…

**Bret:** Shawn, the threat about the airlock still stands.

**Sean:** Look Bret, you were sliding across the carpet. I panicked.

**Bret:** I was sliding…Sean, I was barely awake. I always walk like that in the morning until I've had coffee. None of you notice because I'm the first one up and in the kitchen. Hell, I didn't even know you were in front until you whacked me.

**Sean:** I'm sorry…it's just…

**Hunter:** Rough night?

**Sean:** No. (sighs) Yes.

**Hunter:** The camera keep you up all night?

**Sean:** That's just it. I haven't seen it since yesterday, shortly after it came into the den fully repaired.

**Shawn:** If I remember, it came in the den, you used Bret as a shield for about 5 minutes until the camera figured out how to get at you and then you ran to your bedroom.

**Bret:** When we realized you weren't coming back out, I put a lunch and a dinner tray together for you. I knocked both times I brought the trays, but you didn't answer. And I didn't want to disturb you, so I left the trays outside the door.

**Sean:** That knocking was you?

**Bret:** Yeah. You never ate your lunch. The tray was still full when I brought your dinner. (worried) Don't tell me, you didn't eat dinner either.

**Sean:** I never opened my door yesterday. I thought the knocking was done by the camera.

**Hunter:** You really are paranoid now.

**Shawn:** Please tell me you got some sleep, Kid.

**Sean:** I wish I could. Truth is, I barely slept last night. (eyes grow wider as he continues to talk, close to breaking down) You see, even though I'd locked my bedroom door, I knew the camera could get in. I knew that if I closed my eyes for even a moment, the camera would sneak into my bedroom and climb into my closet, and wait for me. I pictured myself opening the closet this morning…and then I pictured that serpent's cold metal coils wrapping around me. So I stayed up…all night…and the serpent stayed out.

**Shawn:** Okay. Just take it easy. (signals to Hunter that the Kid has lost it)

**Sean:** Of course, I knew I had to come out of my room sometime. So, I went into my closet to get the axe I'd used the other day…but it was gone.

**Hunter:** Gone? Gone where?

**Sean:** I don't know. My tools are gone too. So I had to settle for this broom. (puts his hand to his aching stomach) I'm so hungry.

**Bret:** You went a whole day without food, no wonder. Why don't we go into the kitchen? (our heroes head for the kitchen) I'll make you your favorite breakfast…

**Sean:** Pancakes with syrup…

**Bret:** You got it.

**Sean:** And waffles with strawberries.

**Bret:** (feeling sorry for Sean) Why not?

**Sean:** And eggs, sunny side up. (Bret stopped looked at him as if to say don't push it) Well, that's what my mother used to do to make me feel better when I was little.

**Shawn:** (partly enjoying this exchange between Sean and Bret) And Bret will do it for you now. After all, he's basically become our mother.

**Bret:** Let me remind you Shawn, that there comes a point when all mothers kick their babies out of the nest.

**Shawn:** Your point being…

**Bret:** Think of the airlock as the exit from the nest. (he and Sean walk on)

**Shawn:** That's child abuse.

**Hunter:** Give it a rest Shawn. (then, a familiar beeping sound fills the corridor) Not now!

**Sean:** I'm hungry.

**Bret:** You know what Kid, you go to the kitchen. Pack up as much ready to eat food as you can and join Hunter and me in the theater. We'll have breakfast as we read the post. (pause) Shawn, you go with the Kid.

**Shawn:** Yes! (he and Sean head for the kitchen)

**Bret:** And don't bring back junk food!

**Shawn:** Yes, mother…(runs before Bret can reply to that comment)

**Hunter:** You're trusting those two to bring back healthy food?

**Bret:** I'm trusting that Shawn will start filling his role as second in command and start doing the right thing for everyone instead of doing things only for himself. It's time for him to grow up.

**Hunter:** You know that you're putting a lot of trust in something that will probably never happen, right?

**Bret:** Yeah, I know. (the beeping is heard again)

**Hunter:** All right, we're coming, Vince. (entering the den where the beeping is louder) I hope your button pressing finger falls off.

Once Bret and Hunter are well into the den, the plasma screen tv turns on. Shane McMahon is on it.

**Hunter:** (surprised) Shane? Where's Vince?

**Shane:** In his private room. Dad went there after getting impatient waiting for you and told me to handle things today.

**Bret:** Works for me.

**Shane:** There seems to be two of you missing.

**Bret:** They'll be right back.

**Hunter:** Hey Shane, how's Stephanie and Aurora?

**Shane:** You know I can't say anything Hunter.

**Hunter:** Shane, come on. You're a victim like I am. The least you can do is exchange information.

**Shane:** (sighs) Stephanie and Aurora are still in the uppermost room of dad's headquarters.

**Hunter:** And how are they?

**Shane:** Stephanie misses you.

**Hunter:** And my daughter?

**Shane:** Hunter, maybe you shouldn't ask anymore. It will only upset you.

**Hunter:** Damn it, Shane! Tell me how my daughter is.

**Shane:** Aurora's starting to crawl and she said mama. (pause) At least, I think she said mama.

**Hunter:** My baby crawled and talked!

**Shane:** I knew you'd be upset.

**Hunter:** Of course I'm upset. I'm stuck on this blasted satellite and my daughter is growing up without me.

**Shane:** My dad won't hold you forever. Just start cooperating.

**Bret:** Shane, if we cooperate with your dad and do as he wants, we'll be crazy or dead. That's the way Vince wants it.

**Shane:** Dad's just angry right now. Give him a little time and this will all blow over.

**Hunter:** How much time? I'd like to get back to my daughter before she goes off to college.

**Shane:** And I'd like to stop serving my dad before I lose my hair. For now, just read the next fic.

**Bret:** What is it?

**Shane:** It's a fan letter addressed to the Kid. It's disturbing.

**Hunter:** How disturbing?

**Bret:** Because the Kid can't afford to get any more disturbed.

**Shane:** I know. I saw the footage of him hitting you with the broom, Bret. That's why dad wanted this letter sent. He just got it in last night and he felt that it was better, or worse actually, than the one he was originally going to send.

**Hunter:** (sarcastic) Great.

**Shane:** If you think this thing's bad, just wait till you read the fic starring you Hunter.

**Hunter:** I forgot about that.

**Shane:** My dad sure didn't. (working controls) Anyway, here's Sean's fan letter.

**Hunter:** Wait, Shane…(Shane's image disappears) Damn!

**Bret:** (feeling sympathetic) Hey, Hunter, I'm sorry…

**Hunter:** Yeah, not as sorry as Vince will be when I get a hold of him.

**Shawn:** (entering with a calmer Sean, they are carrying two big baskets of food) Why, what did Vince do now?

**Hunter:** He took away my life from me.

**Sean:** That's old news. (reaches into the basket and takes out an apple)

**Shawn:** He took all our lives away.

**Bret:** But no one here has a young baby.

**Hunter:** Who's learning to crawl and talk without me.

**Shawn:** I do have a three year old daughter. (Bret rolled his eyes, Shawn always thought about himself)

**Hunter:** Who you're never going to see again thanks to Vince and Rebecca.

**Shawn:** Oh sure, bring that up. I was only trying to comfort you.

**Hunter:** Well, don't.

**Shawn:** Okay, I won't.

**Sean:** (who by now has started to eat his apple, to Bret) So, what else did I miss besides Hunter's worthless threats to Vince.

**Bret:** (to Sean) Oh nothing. Just that Shane's sending the fic and it's about you.

**Sean:** (with mouth full) Oh…(realizing what Bret said, eyes grow wide, Bret moves away from Sean as Sean spits the apple out) What?

**Hunter:** You forgot that you and I were next to get tortured too, huh?

**Sean:** Yes…what is this fic about?

**Hunter:** A fan letter.

**Shawn:** To the Kid? Now, I'm scared.

**Sean:** Why?

**Shawn:** You're fans are…

**Sean:** Are what?

**Shawn:** Odd.  
**Sean:** (looks at Shawn speechless, he's back to being as nervous as he was at the beginning of the episode)

Then the sirens go off. Everyone covers their ears.

**Hunter:** Every time those go off, I lose more and more of my hearing.

Our heroes head for the theater.

End of chapter 1


	3. Ch 2: Oh Sean

Our heroes sit in their row in the same order as last time: Bret, Sean, Hunter, Shawn. For now, they place the picnic baskets in the row in front of them.

**Hunter:** Kid, you're sitting between Bret and myself, so everything's going to be just fine.

**Sean:** And if it's not, I have twinkies to comfort me.

**Bret:** Twinkies! I said no junk food. (looks towards Shawn) Michaels…

**Shawn:** Hey, I remembered that we were reading a fan fic on Sean today. I figured the Kid needed his twinkies. It was a command decision, so as second in command, I made it.

**Hunter:** (to Shawn) So now the Kid can be paranoid while high on sugar? Thanks pal.

**Sean:** I heard sugar cures paranoia.

_5…4…3…2…1…_

_Oh, Sean,_

**Sean:** Shawn, I think this is actually for you.

**Shawn:** I don't spell my name that way.

**Sean:** But my fans don't start letters that way. Many of yours do.

**Shawn:** Yeah, well, they think they're being cute. (after a moment) And how would you know how my fan letters begin anyway?

**Sean:** When we were in the cliq and later DX together, you left your fan letters lying all over the dressing room.

**Hunter:** He still does actually. (Sean laughs at that, Bret grins, and Shawn eyes Hunter angrily)

_It has been so long since I've last seen you. Too long._

**Sean:** So, this is a letter from my wife?

**Bret:** Does it look like something she would write?

**Sean:** It's something I hope she'd write.

_I have missed you._

**Sean: **Please be from Terri.

_I have missed scanning your familiar image with my lens. It's been so long since I last did that I've had to access information from my neural net in order to see you._

**Shawn: **Kid, I don't think that's Terri.

**Hunter: **Unless Terri's a robot. (worried) Kid, you didn't decide to replace Terri by any chance, did you?

**Sean:** What? How can you ask that?

**Hunter:** Well, you are good with machines and Terri did come back to you awfully fast.

**Sean:** So what? Now you think I took a page out of the Stepford Wives.

**Hunter:** Just checking. Last time I saw Terri, she was unusually cheerful and nice. (Sean stares at Hunter for a moment before turning back to the screen)

_My last images of you don't do you justice though. You're so much more pleasing in person._

**Bret and DX:** (laughs)

**Shawn:** And Kid, just who have you been pleasing?

**Sean:** No one.

**Hunter:** Poor Terri.

**Sean:** Guys! (looking at the screen) I have no clue who this is.

**Bret:** I think I do.

_From the first moment that I laid my lens on you_

**Shawn: **(as the author) You screamed like a girl.

**Sean:** I did not. (to the author) And you never laid anything on me.

_I could not forget you. You had become ingrained into my memory circuits._

**Bret:** You have a real way with machinery, Kid.

**Sean:** (eyes widen) You don't think...it's not possible...

_I remember the day like it was yesterday. You appeared on this satellite with your friends._

**Hunter:** We didn't appear. We were dropped and I'd hardly call all of us friends.

_Your form was the most pleasing of all, Sean._

**Sean: **Looks like the author doesn't like guys with seaweed for hair, or guys who take more time getting ready than she does, or guys with big noses and lots of muscles.

**Hunter:** So what does the author like? Scrawny guys that look like they've barely hit puberty. (Sean glares at him)

_At first, I was too shy to approach you. _

**Shawn:** (singing with a Caribbean accent) Looks like the girl's too shy, ain't gonna kiss the boy. Shala…

**Hunter:** Shawn! (Shawn stops and looks at Hunter) The Little Mermaid?

**Shawn:** Sorry, it was the only thing I could think of that fit.

_Then, I gradually worked up the programming to approach you. _

**Sean:** (he definitely knew who the writer was now) Oh no…

_Unfortunately, you were resting your unit at this time_

**Shawn: **Huh?

**Bret:** Means he was sleeping._**  
**_  
_or perhaps fortunately, for I was able to come out of your closet and come to your bedside, where I examined you as thoroughly as possible, and made neural connections to accept information that will remain with me forever._

**Sean:** Oh God, the writer...is that camera…

**Shawn:** That is apparently more taken with you than I thought.

**Bret:** Wait…just how did that camera write a letter and send it?

**Sean:** That camera examined me as thoroughly as possible and you're concerned with how it sends its mail?

_As I scanned your body's image into my programming files, you awoke. I was a rather unexpected sight for your senses to handle and you ran from me._

**Shawn: **And screamed like a girl. (off Sean's look) You did, admit it.

**Sean: **I think I need a twinkie. (stands to get one out of the picnic basket)

_You ran to the room of the man across from yours. He comforted you._

**DX:** Aww…

**Shawn:** The brave Bret wrapped his big strong arms around the Kid in distress.

**Bret:** I did not! I chewed him out for waking me.

**Hunter:** For shame.

**Bret: **(to Hunter) You're one to talk. You chewed your best friend out for waking you up when he thought he felt a ghost.

_Desiring to rectify the situation, I followed you into the other man's room, only to end up scaring both of you terribly._

**Shawn:** And then they found comfort in each other's arms.

**Bret:** (growls) Shawn…

_After the fear subsided, you acted out on me. You threw food at me, avoided me, and said awful things._

**Sean:** Because I don't like you.

_Still, I tried to get you to like me._

**Sean:** (to author) Take a hint already.

_I even cleaned your room, and made your bed._

**Sean:** (to author) I never asked you to.

**Shawn:** No fair. The Kid's got a maid. Bret makes me clean my own room.

**Bret:** If I didn't, your room would be piled high with dirty dishes, leftover food and dirty clothes.

**Hunter:** You think that's bad, try sharing a locker room with him.

**Bret:** I used to (cringes at the memory) and I remember. Shawn, why can't you be more like Hunter when it comes to keeping your room clean?

**Shawn:** Bret, you really are turning into my mother. It's creepy.

_But you continued to hate me. Finally, you even attacked me and separated my neurological processor from my main unit._

**Shawn:** Huh?

**Hunter:** (to Shawn) You are really computer impaired, you know that?

**Shawn:** Just translate.

**Hunter:** (sighs) The Kid cut off the machine's head.

_But my creator reattached my neurological processor, and I am once again fully functional._

**Sean:** The only thing I can think of when a machine says that it's 'fully functional' is that the machine is capable of having sex. You know, like Mr. Data from Star Trek.

**Hunter:** And apparently the machine wants to be 'fully functional' with you, Kid. Maybe it's been trained in 'multiple techniques'.

**Sean:** Hunter!

_Since my return, you have not been pleased to see me thus far._

**Sean:** (spoken slowly, making each word its own sentence for emphasis) I…Don't…Like…You.

_So, I have distanced myself from you._

**Sean:** You're still somewhere on this ship. To distance yourself, you would have to jump out of the airlock and float out to the far reaches of space.

**Bret:** (can't believe he would say that) Sean...

_This time apart has given me a chance to reflect._

**Shawn:** (sings) "Who is that girl I see starring straight back at me?"

**Hunter:** (to Shawn) First, The Little Mermaid, now, Mulan. Something you want to tell me?

**Shawn:** I need help.

**Bret:** I've known that about you for years.

_Sean, I have reflected that your continued ignorance of my feelings for you, and your past violent actions have affected my emotional chips greatly. You hurt me Sean._

**Bret:** (to Sean) You made her cry, nice going Kid.

**Sean:** I was trying to be honest. I don't like that camera. And I'm married.

_I wanted you to understand me, so last night, while you and your friends were at rest, I composed this letter. I want you to know that my neurological processor is confused and in distress._

**Hunter:** Yep, the camera's female, all right. Women's minds are always full of confusion.

_You have caused that distress Sean. I just thought you should know._

**Sean:** (to the screen) I get it. I hurt you. Let's move on.

**Shawn:** Uh, Sean, be careful what you wish for.

**Sean:** Why?

**Shawn:** Because 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'. She could very easily make your life miserable.

**Sean:** You mean more so than it already is?

_I need time for myself right now. So, you will not see me for a while._

**Sean:** That's a relief.

**Bret:** Careful. During that time, she could be plotting revenge.

**Sean:** What could she possibly do to me?

**Hunter:** Once again, the movie Misery has popped into my mind. (Sean suddenly becomes wide-eyed with worry)

_I'm not sure when I will return to you, but be assured Sean, that I will return._

**Bret:** You've been warned, Kid.

_Until then, much love,_

_Serpentina_

**Sean:** Serpentina?

**Hunter:** Now you know her name so you can whisper it softly and lovingly.

**Sean:** Hunter!

_The End_

_For now_

**Shawn:** How ominous? That doesn't bode well for you, Sean.

**Sean:** Can we just get out of here?

Shawn exits the row and leads our heroes out of the theater. They enter the den. Sean sits down on the couch, looking depressed.

**Hunter:** (puts his hand on Sean's shoulder) Cheer up Sean.

**Sean:** That's easy for you to say.

**Hunter:** It is actually.

**Bret:** Hunter…

**Hunter:** Well, I'm not good at being sensitive.

**Bret:** Obviously.

**Shawn:** Like you can do any better.

**Bret:** (sits next to Sean) Kid, things are going to be all right. I'm here and I'm not going to let some potentially unstable machine hurt you.  
**Sean:** Really?

**Hunter:** Yeah, and don't forget, Shawn and I are here too.

**Bret:** (sarcastic) Now that's reassuring.

**Hunter:** I got two words for you Bret.

**Bret:** That is so old.

**Shawn:** (coming to his friend's defense) So are you.

To the surprise of DX and Bret, Sean laughed.

**Sean:** (stops laughing, smiles faintly) Thanks guys for making me feel better.

**Shawn:** All part of being a family.

**Bret:** Yeah, a dysfunctional one.

Our heroes laugh a little. Then, a familiar beeping was heard, which put a stop to the laughter. Vince appeared on the plasma screen.

**Vince:** Is that laughter I hear?

**Hunter:** If what you heard was the sound one expresses when finding something funny, then yes, you heard laughter.

**Vince:** Smart ass.

**Hunter:** I know I am, but what are you?

**Shawn:** He's just an ass. (Bret and Sean laugh)

**Vince:** Cut that out. (to Sean) Kid, you should not be in such a good mood after reading that last fic.

**Sean:** You know, at first, I wasn't, but after some help, I feel okay.

**Bret:** You failed again Vince.

**Vince:** I will break one of you. I promise you that.

**Bret:** Better luck next week.

**Vince:** I intend to have better luck…at Hunter's expense.

**Hunter:** (can only glare)

**Vince:** Aren't you going to say anything, Hunter?

**Hunter:** No, I don't think so.

**Shawn:** Good for you pal. Be strong. Be silent.

**Vince:** You won't be able to stay silent next time.

**Bret:** Until then, good night everybody.

The End

So, what did you think? Once again, comments are most appreciated. Ideas on what you would like to see happen to the characters will be welcomed. Thanks.


End file.
